Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
