$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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