I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
