so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
