No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Less talking, more tequila
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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