Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
