I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
