you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize