Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
