we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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