This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
