Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she told me i tasted like america
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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