Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
