I'm really into asian looking animals
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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