I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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