one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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