I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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