Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Buhtt sex?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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