Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
