Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
