thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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