I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize