You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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