What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
