i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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