So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
