how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm too high and old for this...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize