i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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