I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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