Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
