Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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