i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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