I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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