never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
