Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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