Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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