This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
