this just has baby written all over it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
