So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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