butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
