dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
