I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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