I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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