i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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