My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
