i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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