My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
