I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
