Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
