She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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