Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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