When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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