How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
