i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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