I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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