white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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