the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
