Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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