I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize