Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
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somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
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He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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