exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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