Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
