I feel like I'm in dance class right now
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
