we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon