He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?