i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS