I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Still dying that you shit outside
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!